Funny gun related stories

I have so many funny, (good) memories of owning a gunshop, trading guns and going to gunshows, and I imagine everyone else does too, so I thought I'd start a thread of funny stories. Some may also be not so funny.

Do you all remember when the Ruger Charger came out? It was a sort of a pistol, but pretty large, and definitely shot form a rest. Well, a guy I know, who has the self control of a 4 year old, had to have one, and I mean NOW! He scoured every gun shop around, but everyone would have had to order one, and golly, that could take 3 or 4 days!! Sooooo, the adventure begins:

First he bought a black 10/22 as a donor, and used the action for his "build". Next comes a laminated 10/22 stock bought from a gunshow, and to top it off, a stainless Midway heavy target barrel, bought from a friend. The first thing to do is cut the stock down and make a pistol-ish grip out of it, Now, my ole friend was not gifted with woodworking skills, poor guy, but he perservered. When he cut the forearm down and hacked off the butt stock, it was ready to be used as kindling. There are no words to describe it. I reckon it to the bank robber who cuts down the stock of a shotgun to make it more concealable, and uses a rough cut file to fashion a grip, and that's being complimentary.

With the stock finished, it's time to prepare the barrel. Now a full length Midway stainless heavy barrel is a thing of beauty with it's spiral outer finish it looks as good as it shoots. But it's much too long for a pistol, not to mention heavy, so it's time to cut it down. These are bull barrels roughly 1" at the muzzle and even thicker as it goes back toward the action. Out comes... wait for it...the hacksaw!. Now these are IIRC 20" barrels and I think the legal limit to cut them back was 16", but I'm not sure of the measurements, but he cut it to the legal limit. If anything his metal working skills are only exceeded in mediocrity by his woodworking skills. The muzzle and crown were horrendous. The barrel looked like it was cut with a chainsaw, and filing and sanding didn't seem to improve either the looks, or the function I would guess.

It's time to assemble the "pistol" and make final tweaks. The black action and trigger did not look good to him with the stainless barrel, so out comes the silver roof paint. He paints the action, trigger assy, and a weaver rail scope mount. You guessed it, he can't paint either. It was full of runs, (have you ever used silver roof paint, it's like water), and not being stirred properly, the finished parts had a sort of marbled look. It was a beaut! Now the action and barrel are the same color, sort of, the stock needs paint. He always had a thing for blue rifles, as he used to have a Marlin 2000 22 target rifle which had a blue stock, and he called it his "Smerf" rifle, so naturally the grip had to be painted blue. It looked much like the action when painted. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess it was a masterpiece. One final thing to do, it had to have open sights, ... don't ask me?

Taking a Truglow tube sight apart he got the orange tube out of the sight, and using a piece of metal he drilled a hole and glued the tube straight up in it and glued it to the front of the barrel, roughly 3/4" high. Next he removed the rear sight from a Heritage Rough Rider 22 pistol and glued it to the action, choosing, at this point, not to use the beautiful scope mount he had made.

Now for the coup de gras, it's time to bed the action in the grip....I honestly never knew Acraglass gel could run like that. I also didn't know it took a whole package to bed a pistol, maybe a cannon, whatever! Surprisingly his glue skill is far worse that either his metal or woodworking skill, if that's possible. One thing for sure, it'd be no trick to trace this gun back to him with all the Acraglass fingerprints on it!

Assembled and finished, this is the single worst "pistol" I have ever seen, there are no words to describe this monstrosity. It looked like a first grader made it in crafting class. Well, first graders have, generally, much more skill than this. I mean this thing needed to go straight into the trash, it looked that bad!

He was so proud of it, and now he had his Smerf Charger!

Now my pal is one of those inveterate traders, and moves things fairly quickly. So after a few months of enjoying his Smerf Charger, we were at a gunshow and he was looking at one of the, then new, short mag rifles, and the dealer [foolishly] asked if he had anytihng to trade? Silly me, I wasn't even thinking, when he went to his truck to see what he had with him. I continued looking around, totally unaware what was about to happen. When I saw the crowd forming from across the gun show, I just had to see what all the fuss was about. When I got close enought to see him holding the Smerf Charger out at arms length in the dealer's face, with an ear to ear proud grin on his face, I could have died. At which point, the dealer uttered the exact words that were running through my mind,.. "you're kidding, right"? The laughter that ensued, only made the situation go from bad to worse. When the dealer laughed, I think that was the last straw, and I knew, at that point, that my pal, all 6.4" 270 # of him, could lose his temper and end up in big trouble if we didn't leave NOW!

The ride home was a rant on dealers and how they rip people off on their guns, and he coudn't imagine the guy wouldn't trade for his prized Smerf gun! I haven't seen the Smerf Charger in several years, and I have no idea of it's whereabouts.

................................have i told you the one about my friend buddying up to a local doctor and volunteering to glass bed his new Cooper Custom Classic rifle?
................................or that you can completely lock up an Anschutz 2001 airgun by trying to acraglass it into it's stock?
 
Years ago I volunteered as a range officer at a public range. Most of my time was spent on the rifle line and I'd patrol for usable brass to reload.

I began finding what looked like 45/70 brass (straight-walled) on one saturday, but a closer look found it to be 308. Strange... So for the next year or so, I'd run across a couple of boxes worth on Saturday morning. It could be resized back to use, so I'd grab and use it.

Then came a Friday when I was off from the real job, so I headed up to spend the day at the range. While patrolling I noticed a guy shooting a really nice custom bolt-gun, so I asked him about it. "From Baine and Davis, it's a .308 Match" he said. It did have a heavy barrel on it, but there was no caliber stamp on it. Then I noticed the straight-walled 308 brass on the ground next to his bench. So... I went over to the truck and dug out a box of new 30.06 that I'd stashed. I asked if I could see if it would chamber in his 308 and he said yes. It did, and we found that his 308 match gun was actually a 30.06.

He remarked later that "although it kicked a lot harder, it was much more accurate than it used to be."

I'll post about the "Turret Lady" later.

Cheers,

J~
 
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We had a guy at work Gerry, who was a total miser, lots of money. He collected EVERYTHING from tredle sewing machines to roof slate, to step ladders, you name it he collected it. We had another guy Steve, that was a real gun enthusiast, who only had a relatively small collection but they were really nice and he cared for them with great love.

One day Gerry, who never owned any guns to my knowledge, announced to us that he was going to collect handguns. He prceeded to go to every yard sale and gun show and buy all kinds of guns, usually cheap trash guns like RG, and Heritage, things like that. Before too long he informed us all, that he had amassed over 80 handguns.

One day Gerry comes in and says "hey Bob, I got a pistol at a yard sale, that you might like, but I can't remember the name of it. It's a .22 semi auto". So I proceeded to name all the brands I could think of and when I finally come up with High Standard, his eyes lit up, "that's it". Now which model, and while I'm naming them, he volunteers he paid $100 even for it and he thought he might have paid too much, ater all, "it's just a .22 semi auto pistol". I keep naming HS .22 pistols and he tells me, "it had a funny name", and I immediately said.... "you mean ISU", to which he responds, "yeah, yeah, that' it". Now Steve is boiling, because this dumbass has just bought one of the most collectable HS target pistols ever made at a yard sale for $100 and it's probably worth over a grand! The conversation keeps going and Steve and I let it slip that we'll be at the range on Saturday to shoot our 44 mags.

Saturday rolls around and me and Steve are enjoying a day at the range with his S&W M29 and my old model Ruger Super Blackhawk. We take a break in the action to stop and get a cold drink and just BS about guns, when we hear a car coming. Gerry pulls up, gets out of his car, pulls out a box approx 18" x 18" cube and walks to the other side of the shooting line away from us. As he approches we can see the box is full of guns, to the point of running over, no cases, no padding, just handguns thrown in a box. He walks over to one of the concrete benches and literally pours out the box of guns on the concrete. I KID YOU NOT! As he pours them out a oouple topple off the bench, but with Gerry's catlike reflexes, he traps them agains the cinder block base of the bench, YIKES! Me and Steve cringe, at which point, Gerry rummages through the pile of guns, and comes up with a stainless Dan Wesson 44. We're absolutely amazed at both the DW, the pile of guns and Gerry's seemingly cavalier attitude towards the care of those guns. He loads up the DW with six rounds, fires them off at 25 yards, scoops the guns off the concrete bench back into the box, and without a word, walks back to the car and drives away, leaving us completely dumbfounded.

Steve finally got his wits back and said, "cheap bastard, he probably didn't want to waste any more money shooting than that"! It was at this point, we were wondering what that HS ISU looked like now, as it was in the box when he bought it.
 
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