I'm missing the "irony", but I think the Edgun R5M, though not on the OP's list fits the bill perfectly. Just get it and shoot. I've never owned a Taipan, but that would be my second choice. At some point I'll pick up a Vet2 when the dust settles. They have a good reputation, but everything they are reputed to be is also fact with the R5M.
GsT